Bill Gates ex-wife Melinda Gates recently shared how a toxic college relationship contributed to years of body image issues. In a candid interview on The Jamie Kern Lima Show, the philanthropist revealed that her insecurities began in high school but worsened during a damaging romance at Duke University . “[It] was really not a positive relationship for me at all,” Gates, now 60, shared. “He cared a lot about how I looked and said a lot of things about it to me, and that really is not OK.”
Melinda Gates admitted she stayed in the unhealthy relationship longer than she should have, internalizing harmful messages that stuck with her well into adulthood. “I would say that carried through with me into my 20s and even into my 30s,” she said. “It wasn’t, probably, until I got to 40 that I got more OK with who I was.”
Shortly after graduating college, Gates met her future husband, Bill Gates, in 1987 at a Microsoft sales meeting in New York City, where she was a product manager and he was the CEO.
Made her release she needs to be a role Model for her daughters
“It was really important that I work on this in myself so I didn’t put any of that on them,” she said. “When they had body issues, they could come to me and I could be honest with them.”
In addition to therapy, Gates found healing through meaningful professional work. She cited research indicating that women who engage in fulfilling careers tend to fixate less on body image.
“Data shows that if women are working and doing meaningful work, they focus less on body image,” she said. “How beautiful is it to be able to put that energy into things you care about doing for the world?”
When Melinda Gates says she learnt to accept her body
Today, Gates says she has a much healthier relationship with her body. Her focus has shifted from appearance to overall well-being. “I want to be fit ’cause I wanna be able to do all the things I want,” she explained. “I want to be healthy, but I’m not so focused on, you know, am I X weight or Y weight or do I fit in that size pants or another?”
Though the pressure to look a certain way still lingers “a little bit,” she says it “just isn’t a big call anymore.”
Releasing the pressure of perfectionism around body image brought Gates peace of mind and a greater sense of freedom. “You have so much more mind space,” she noted. “You gain peace when you let go of perfectionism around weight and body image.”
To help manage the anxiety, Gates said she worked with therapists and several nutritionists. Her motivation wasn’t just personal—she also wanted to model a healthier mindset for her daughters, Jennifer, 28, and Phoebe, 22.
Melinda Gates admitted she stayed in the unhealthy relationship longer than she should have, internalizing harmful messages that stuck with her well into adulthood. “I would say that carried through with me into my 20s and even into my 30s,” she said. “It wasn’t, probably, until I got to 40 that I got more OK with who I was.”
Shortly after graduating college, Gates met her future husband, Bill Gates, in 1987 at a Microsoft sales meeting in New York City, where she was a product manager and he was the CEO.
Made her release she needs to be a role Model for her daughters
“It was really important that I work on this in myself so I didn’t put any of that on them,” she said. “When they had body issues, they could come to me and I could be honest with them.”
In addition to therapy, Gates found healing through meaningful professional work. She cited research indicating that women who engage in fulfilling careers tend to fixate less on body image.
“Data shows that if women are working and doing meaningful work, they focus less on body image,” she said. “How beautiful is it to be able to put that energy into things you care about doing for the world?”
When Melinda Gates says she learnt to accept her body
Today, Gates says she has a much healthier relationship with her body. Her focus has shifted from appearance to overall well-being. “I want to be fit ’cause I wanna be able to do all the things I want,” she explained. “I want to be healthy, but I’m not so focused on, you know, am I X weight or Y weight or do I fit in that size pants or another?”
Though the pressure to look a certain way still lingers “a little bit,” she says it “just isn’t a big call anymore.”
Releasing the pressure of perfectionism around body image brought Gates peace of mind and a greater sense of freedom. “You have so much more mind space,” she noted. “You gain peace when you let go of perfectionism around weight and body image.”
To help manage the anxiety, Gates said she worked with therapists and several nutritionists. Her motivation wasn’t just personal—she also wanted to model a healthier mindset for her daughters, Jennifer, 28, and Phoebe, 22.
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